My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
