i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
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