Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Randomize
