i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
