I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
