She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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