I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
