I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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