so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Randomize
