Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize