I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
