You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
