your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Randomize
