i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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