She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
