Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Randomize
