I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Randomize
