What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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