My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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