Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
