I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize