Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
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