I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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