? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
