i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
