I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Randomize
