you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
