Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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