i love accidental penises.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
