You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
You may now shotgun with the bride
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
