ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
