Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
