She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
