Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
