Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
