Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
be right there i have to get my cape
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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