i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize