Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
The air was thick with penises
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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