were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
