we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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