my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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