i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Randomize
