The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
