I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
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