Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Hello my rib-scented angel!
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
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