I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
My breasts were aching with rage.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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