Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Randomize
