i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
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