it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
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