So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
