Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
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