PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Randomize
