Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
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