so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
That was before I lit my hair on fire
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
