I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
