I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
