I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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