After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
So much Jack, so little girl.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
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