i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Randomize
