I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
