so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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