Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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