I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize
