my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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