He asked to "fluff my boner.."
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize