So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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