Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Randomize
