This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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