quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I miss vodka workout Fridays
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Randomize
