You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
I just want nice things and good sex
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
True strength comes from lack of pants
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
