i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
found the other keg... it's in the tree
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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